Christmas Rules! (song)
- You may also be looking for the segment "Christmas Rules!"
"Christmas Rules!" is a song sung by the Looney Tunes cast during the Merrie Melodies segment of The Looney Tunes Show episode "A Christmas Carol." It was written by Andy Sturmer, and was performed by Damon Jones, Jeff Bergman, Bob Bergen, Kristen Wiig, Jess Harnell, Rob Paulsen, Fred Armisen, Billy West, and Kwesi Boakye.
Lyrics
Bugs: Christmas time is here,
There's a tingle in the air.
Daffy: I sat on a park bench
And froze my derriere.
Lola: We're all hanging stockings, drinking cocoa.
OMG It's snowing!
Foghorn: Santa's bringing tons of loot,
And we got Christmas spirit blowing.
Bugs: It's the time of year
We try to drop our negativity.
Daffy: I just dropped a glitter bomb
To make the town more Christmas-y.
Porky: Christmas time can be so hectic,
Shopping malls can b-b-be so rough,
Speedy: But it's the best of all the holidays
Because we get new stuff!
Lola: I got sick on Halloween,
Tina: New Year's was an awful scene,
Bugs: And Thanksgiving was a snore,
Mac and Tosh: Christmas, Christmas, we want more.
Tweety: Yuletide by the fireplace,
Daffy: I am gonna stuff my face.
Gossamer: Punch the clock and close the school.
That's the reason Christmas—
Everyone: Rules!
Bugs: All the buildings look like igloos,
Daffy: White, majestic winter castles.
Tosh: We can wear our Christmas sweaters
Mac: And our coulottes with gold tassels!
Gossamer: This is why Christmas is great!
Sam: This ain't no time to playa hate.
Porky: All you gotta have is faith.
Daffy: What a lovely Christmas wraith.
Bugs: You mean wreath?
Daffy: No, I mean wraith.
(A wraith dressed as Santa flies over the city on a dragon)
Porky: (Screams and runs away)
Elmer: My howiday depwession has been wifted by this wovewy sight.
Tosh: How can one be sad with 50,000 watts of Christmas light?
Lola: There's so many holidays!
What the heck is Arbor Day?
Tina: I just know I work that day.
Gimme Christmas any day!
Pepe: Yuletide by the fireplace.
Daffy and Porky: (mouths full) I am gonna stuff my face.
Gossamer: Punch the clock and close the schools.
Gossamer and kids: That's the reason Christmas—
Everyone: Rules!
Lola: I love all the shiny balls,
Lezah: Children bouncing off the walls,
Sam: Blinking lights we got on sale,
Foghorn: Silver tinsel by the bail,
Bugs: Semi-frozen river skating,
Elmer: Candy cane self-medicating,
Daffy: Taking back gifts that we hate,
Porky: Fifteen pounds of winter weight,
Lola: Fluffy quilts with Christmas cats,
Sam: Ten pound Russian winter hats,
Mac: Fruitcakes that are gluten-free,
Tosh: Eggnog by the gallon, wheeeeee!
Daffy: Brand new cars with giant bows,
Marvin: Holiday-themed laser shows,
Henery: Roasted chicken, Christmas trees,
Speedy: Cheddar cheese nativities.
Everybody: Christmas karaoke bus.
Happy holidays to us!
